How Do You Tip?

Everybody has opinions on tipping, and few of them seem to be appropriate. Some guests try to spend as little as possible – and who can blame them? People work hard for their cash, and they want to keep it. Meanwhile, the waitstaff is always interested in earning more – again, who isn’t? – And thinks guests don’t tip enough. The truth, of course, is somewhere in the middle. Follow these five steps to tip fairly:

Merit-based pay: Before we get into the numbers, let’s make one thing clear up front: tips are based on merit. That’s the reason this form of payment exists. While there are certain standards, they are really starting points, with the guidelines representing the payment provided for middle-of-the-road service. If you truly get poor service, you shouldn’t be ashamed to tip less. Likewise, if you get amazing service, you should be prepared to tip more. At great restaurant in Boston, I got incredible service on one occasion – and that’s relative to the restaurant’s already high standards. I left a 40 percent tip … on what was not a small tab. It hurt, but it was the right thing to do. Brace yourself for it.

Starting point: In the United States, the starting point for tipping is 15 percent. You’ll hear some argue that this hasn’t increased in a while, and I’ve heard servers try to posit that the standard has gone up to 20 percent, but that nobody has figured it out yet. What that tells me is that the standard hasn’t gone up yet. Fifteen percent is the starting point, but it’s just that.

Pay for what you get: If your food comes out on time, the order isn’t screwed up and you get appropriate attention throughout the meal, you should pony up 15 percent. A server who is extra friendly, extremely efficient or packed with great suggestions that enhance your meal has gone the extra mile and should be compensated appropriately. At this point, it’s a judgment call. For good recommendations on the menu (food and wine), a water glass that’s always full and a smooth experience, I usually go up to 20 percent. To go higher than 25 percent, you really need to see something above and beyond the call of duty.

The kitchen: Know what mistakes belong to the waiter and which belong to the kitchen. If your food isn’t prepared properly, comes out absurdly late or has other problems that you really don’t think the server could have affected, you shouldn’t punish the server, especially if he or she put forth extra effort to make the experience better. If your problem is with the kitchen, tip appropriately and speak to the manager about your problems (and let the server know why you want to speak with the manager).

Comps: Whether to compensate for a problem with your meal or out of sheer generosity, you may wind up with a free drink or dessert. This doesn’t release you from an obligation to tip. At a minimum, you should up your tip based on the full value of what was free. If you’re at a bar drinking and get a few free rounds, you should give the bartender 50 percent of the value of the free drinks.

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photo: photographybyobi